I wanted to write a part two, to,”10 Things The Other Woman Should Know”. In fact, I wanted to reach out to the person who called herself my, “best friend” for 11 years and share with her every date and time stamped email and text her, “boyfriend” has written me the past 4 years, especially, the ones within the last few months. All the, “I still love you’s”. . . “apologies”, “I’m changing”, “You’re gorgeous” and song lyrics he wrote me during his late nights, alone. I wanted to share all the texts inviting me to vacation with him or sit next to him. Yes, no doubt, I wanted her to see every word he has written, while pretending to love this other woman. As awful as this sounds, I wanted her to hurt, as much as she hurt me, four years ago. I wanted to give her a glimpse of what she put me through, during that time.
But you see, after talking to friends and family, I realized, Why? Why would I waste my time on that person, at all. A person that called herself a, “best friend” while committing the ultimate betrayal. Why? Someone who has no conscious at all, will never feel the hurt I felt. She doesn’t have a heart like me and never will. Instead, I will take the advice of just letting the other woman continue to live in my shadow, because, that, my, “friend”, is the ultimate truth. People who betray and hurt others will drum up any lie and excuse to try to not only make themselves look better, but to also get out of the lie they told. Unfortunately, it’s a never-ending cycle that I have seen way too many times. With that said, I know the truth, he knows the truth and the words written during his lonely late-night hours, tell the real story.
Every day I learn a little lesson from this life story of mine. In fact, today, another person who I barely know, came to me for advice on, marriage and divorce. Betrayal and divorce tear up families, leave children confused with lots of questions, unanswered. Divorce is not something I would ever want for my children. I hope they learn from what they have lived through and grow up finding a true love to grow old with. I hope they always keep the, “big picture” in clear view and realize that the grass is never greener. In the same breath, I hope they always recognize their worth and stay true to themselves. I hope they have seen the strength that comes from adversity. And, I hope they realize that pain doesn’t last forever and that karma and silver linings do exist.
I’ve been told that people never get over betrayal, but learn to get through it. And when the betrayal is by two people you once loved, it’s that much harder to get through. I have found that the best advice I have received and one I’ve been very stubborn about following, is; to not engage with the ones bringing them down. Keeping communication to a minimum is key, especially when the words and actions don’t match up. Sometimes the best answer is making sure you are removed from people who try to steal your joy, to get through their pain.