I consider myself a very selfless person. I’ve always been concerned with and put other’s well-being before my own. Whether it be my children, friends or even family, I do think that I strive to make other’s happy and put their best interest, first. Am I pleaser? Maybe. But at the same time, I’ve always remained upfront and honest with people when asked my opionion. In fact, I am often very opinionated. And at times, that probably wasn’t very, “pleasing”.
It’s the act of “doing” that I found myself being, “selfless”. For instance, If a group of girlfriends are going out and expect me to go, I always went. Even if I was mentally tired and in need of a little solitude, I still got up, got dressed and went out. I never wanted to disappoint or let anyone down.
Over the past couple of years, I also realized that by doing this as much as I have, I indirectly have hurt my own well being.
When my marriage was falling apart after discovering my husband’s infidelity, I felt like divorce would be the ulitmate disappointment to my family. I wanted it to work. I really wanted to give everything that I had in me, to save my marriage, regardless of how awful the circumstances were.
As I sit here today, I realize that divorcing my husband and starting anew, was the start of me being, selfish. Yes, selfish. For once, I took care of me, because I knew in the long run, it would be the best decision for my wellbeing. And ultimitely, If my sole is well, I know it’s the best thing for my children, family and friends. So, for the first time, I’ve become selfishly, selfless. (strange term, I know)
With the challenges and changes I’ve faced, I’ve also learned that those people who are meant to be in my life will support me and my decisions. Those people who truly know me and my heart, will love me and stand by me, unconditionally. They know that my selfishness at times, is really a SELFLESS act, long term. It will never hurt anyone, especially my children. And, it will never leave a negative impact. That’s the difference.