For everyone reading this, please understand that this is a very real, honest and raw letter to the other woman who decided to leave her marriage and take over mine. These are words that needed to be said. I guess you can consider it a sort of journal entry or a therapeutic post that I wanted to share. There was no closure. This is my closure with, the other woman.
Life gives us lemons. And, unfortunately, sometimes these lemons are rotten before we ever realized it. However, with every heartache, bump in the road and difficulty we may encounter, you have two choices. You can choose to let it break you, or, build you in to a stronger, wiser and more determined person.
There are many things we can not control in life. But, what we can control, is how we handle adversity. Since You can’t control or change the past, the only thing that makes sense, is to keep moving forward.
A Letter To, “The Other Woman”
Let me give you a heads up. I moved on a long time ago. In fact, I was the one who ended the marriage after his infidelity was discovered, twice, with you. Who were you? For 11 years you pretended to be my best friend.
You watched me love my husband for 11 years, while also watching our family grow. I was there for you through all the difficulties you went through with your children. You not only had my baby showers, you actually watched the birth of two of my four children. Who knew that all these years, you were really just a devil in disguise. Who knew, that you would eventually become, “The Other Woman”?
How did I not recognized that when you cheated on your husband the first time, that you were not someone I should have even surrounded myself with. That should have been the first clue of many. But, like that oh-so-famous statement says, hindsight is always 20/20.
Not only did you cheat on your husband with my husband, you cheated on him at least once before, too. Why did I ignore that huge red flag waving right in front of my face? You were married twice. You dropped out of college for a guy.
How could you look at me, knowing? How did you spend a summer going to my pool, dinner and inviting us on a family vacation, all while you were right in the middle of an affair with my husband? How could you hold and look at my babies, knowing you were having an affair with their daddy? It’s a question I will never know or could really ever comprehend the answer to.
Let me guess, he told you, “We were not happy and there was something special about you.”? Well, thankfully, I know the truth. It’s comforting knowing that I have emails, texts, letters he wrote to my parents and testimonies of him crying to my friends, begging me back. I also know what we had. Apparently it’s something you must have always wanted. You said, “He never told me he begged for you back.” Well, truth be told, he did.
Deep Down You Know The Truth
Now, you can keep going on pretending you two are, “soul mates”. You can keep selfishly hurting all the children and families involved. However, to everyone else, you will always be, the other woman. Just know, that just as early as about a month ago, he was emailing me with these exact words, “I wish I could get out of this nightmare and go back to how things used to be.” Again, another email filed away. Date and time stamped. I also have a letter he wrote you stating specifically how you, “ruined our family”. Or, what about the text I have from July, 2015 stating, “Damn this sucks. It sucks that people make mistakes. And you are a good person. And some where beneath all this, so am I. I hope you have a good night with our babies. And hope they and you sleep well.” Or, the one from July 4th, 2015 stating, “I miss all this.” This and so much more, is proof that you are just a sad convenience and mistake that he’s just, “lost in”.
Thankfully, through all the betrayal, I can still be the one to walk around with my head held high. It’s comforting that my children can and will always respect me as a person, mother and role model. It’s sad that his family must have heard the same lies, in order to befriend a person like you and they are now the ones being fooled, too.
With that said, maybe I can teach you a thing or two. Although you will never be a respectable human being in my eyes and many other’s eyes, maybe you can learn something from this horrible, “nightmare” that you decided to create.
You are the only one who does NOT know the truth.