It’s been exactly 3 years since I faced the ultimate betrayal, a double betrayal that I never saw coming. And what amazes me more, is knowing people have no regards for what’s truly important. I guess when you’re living in a, “fantasy”, all reality is meaningless. It’s actually quite disturbing and unbelievable to even make sense of.
Almost every day I hear a story that makes me shake my head and ask myself, “Who really were these people?”. Thankfully, I can sit here and say that I at least have my dignity, class and self-respect. I am still the same person I was when I loved those two people, except stronger and wiser. And, knowing that I can walk anywhere in public with my head held high, is more than she will ever be able to do. Living an honest life with class is something I will always be proud of.
As a mother of 4 children, I have a huge responsiblity to be the kind of person I would hope my children look up to. Unfortunately, my older boys understand what happened and have seen the amount of hurt it causes to a family. When you go from a picture perfect family, to a family divided, it’s hard watching your children try to understand the “hows” and “whys” of it all.
Although I can’t change the outcome or control anyone else’s choices or actions, I have learned through it all that I can control MY outcome and MY actions. And, with my children being my number one priority in life, I commit whole heartedly to show them a life of courage, strength, love and honesty. Those are the things I wish for them in their life.
Divorce is hard on everyone, but it’s especially difficult on children. My little girl who is only 3 years old, recently asked me out of the blue, “Mommy, do you love my daddy?”. Well let me tell you, she completely took me off guard with that question. So, I bet you’re wondering what my response was. I simply said, “I love your daddy for giving me the best kids in the whole wide world.” And that was that. She was content with that response, and so was I.
When something so awful happens to a person, it can really bring out an ugly side. In the beginning, I definitely had a hard time handling my emotions. I definitely wasn’t the best version of me. But that’s why this has been a bit of a blessing in disguise. It has not only taught me that I can handle just about anything life throws at me, it has taught me to live the best version of me during both the best of times and the of worst times. And, when it’s all said and done, we only have control over our own choices, thoughts and behaviors. That is one lesson that can bring great comfort during all circumstances of life.