The past couple of years have challenged me in many ways. I’ve not only learned how to deal and “accept” other people’s selfish acts and unacceptable behavior, I’ve learned to take the nightmare of infidelity and turn it in to lessons for myself and children. One thing that comes out of all of this that I’ve learned through therapy, research and personal experience is, stay true and honest to myself and my children.
Of course, the two people who commit the selfish act will want to do the opposite. They will encourage you to do the same. I mean, why would anyone want to tell the truth about something they know is clearly wrong, especially to their children? They will want to place a bandage over their children’s hurt, instead of really taking the steps to proper healing.
My gut from day one has been right on. And, when my older children started asking questions, not only was I encouraged to, “prepare myself to tell the truth of what happened between mom and dad”, my gut told me to do the same. With that said, when my children came to me with questions, I stayed honest, positive, chronologically answering their questions. Specific details were not necessary or appropriate. This is all they needed to know. Little Ears DO deserve honest words. They do not need to hear ugly, hateful, inappropriate or explicit details of the affair. As they get older, the pieces of the whole puzzle will come together, but, in their own time and own way.