Through the adversity I’ve faced, I constantly struggle with the “art” of forgiveness. It’s such an easy word to say and a piece of advice that many people express to me, yet, it’s the most difficult of all feelings to grasp. Being hurt by two people who I loved and who I thought loved me the most, has not only been surreal, but it truly altered my heart.
Through the past 11 months I have experienced so much bitterness, that it literally consumed me. I have let two people who obviously have major character flaws, bring out the worst in ME. The negative thoughts, resentment and anger literally paralyzed MY TRUE character. So, through the gift of time, the support of friends and family and the beauty of inspirational words, I am coming to understand what true forgiveness means.
Forgiveness isn’t about accepting and validating someone’s negative behavior and actions. It’s not about forgetting a horrible act that occurred. In fact, infidelity between my husband and a “best friend”, is something that I could honestly never forget. Instead, forgiveness to me is about loving yourself and caring about yourself enough, to let go of any negative thoughts that lead you back in to the past, instead of living the joy of the present. Forgiveness is about allowing yourself to learn from the hurt and allowing room for an even better outcome. Forgiveness allows scars to heal while learning to truly live again.
Forgiveness doesn’t help the ones who hurt you. It helps the one who has been hurt. Forgiveness is about taking care of me and believing Karma will take care of the rest.